What is true happiness?

 Several times this question popped up in my head...what is true happiness? Of course the answer is subjective but is it really? When are we really happy? ...When we were kids? Even then we had reasons to cry, to shout, to feel bad...When we get the love of our life? Feeling of bliss ..yes...When we hold a baby in our arms for the first time... feeling of eternal joy...so true isn't it?..When our sibling succeeds after long long struggle...tears of joy...when we lie in our mom's lap...feeling of relief and reassurance...when we hear our dad say...iam there, don't worry...feeling blessed...when relatives support us in ways which are unimaginable....feeling grateful..... when we hear ourselves through the waves of the ocean...feeling true discovery..........when your young one helps you decorate for Diwali....feels amazing!... when you are appreciated at office...feels empowered....when people make you feel inclusive..feeling of acceptance!.. when you did something kind to someone....feeling of true power .....when you shared laughter with friends...feeling of freedom...........is there really a limit to the sources of happiness that we are surrounded by? Thank God there is not! God has given us endless reasons and opportunities to be happy...

Even then why do we get sad.....is it the circumstance, is it our choice...is it a combination of both...may be...in fact yes....it is indeed a combination of both...

But how are our choices  made? What factors govern them? I kept wondering...

And then I read a book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". I wouldn't say it changed my life but it did help me understand some very important things about myself and all of us. It helped me understand what makes me who Iam and what is it that controls how I feel about things.

I do recommend everyone to read it and try to extract the one thing that will help you all. This is again subjective. I found some of my answers in this book and my quest for more answers is still on. But at least now I know why I need not be unhappy in a particular circumstance even though logically I should be completely unhappy and miserable! Difficult to understand...right?...iam struggling to write it myself :P

So, the mind says "You should feel bad because bad things are happening to you". But if you know yourself, you know your true priorities, your principles, you might tell your mind.."do these things really matter in the paradigm that you have designed for yourself? if they don't, then how can they be good or bad? And you relieve yourself out of this mind trap of feeling sad.And the power that you feel next is ecstasy!

In my childhood, I used to feel that I can help people solve their problems...I may have actually helped them too because I believed too much in my capability at that time. I used to feel that I can understand them and connect to them...and I did too at times! But very recently I had started to feel ..do I really know myself? Do I really understand myself? Do I know what makes me happy and what makes me sad.....And for the first time I was unable to connect to my inner self..when I had everything perfectly moving my way!....What a dilemma? isn't it? And was I happy in this situation..No!

So, again what is true happiness.....I have figured out lately for myself that knowing yourself truly is true happiness....Knowing that what makes you happy and what makes you sad and acknowledging it to yourself and accepting your own self as it is and being aware of who you truly are is true happiness! Knowing and understanding your own guiding principles and the reasons behind them brings you true peace of mind and security. And anything that comes your way gives you happiness or sadness based on who you truly are!

At the end of the day I can say, happiness is also in the moment. Like this moment, Iam happy because I am able to write what I feel in this blog. 

So, find your true happiness or I would rather say find ways to find your true happiness. Those who seek shall find! :)

Have a Happy Life Ahead!

Started Off My Day Beautifully

To start off a day beautifully, you really need to be super lucky. With this I don't mean that you can't control it but lot of things have to go right before you can really start an absolutely beautiful day. Let's see what happened in my case. I did some 10 minute shoulder exercise yesterday evening around 8:00pm and had aloo paratha(yummy- my favorite) and slept around 11:30 or 12 I think and with some miracle I woke up fresh at 5:45AM in the morning.

And there we go, I decided that I will do everything which I otherwise don't find time for(bad time management I guess but whatever). So, I jumped on this opportunity.

First, I admired the world standing in my balcony , the morning sunshine falling on the trees making it look like nothing less than a heaven, the birds singing songs(oh, I really did hear them, next time I will try recording them :)), cool breeze feeling in my face and Iam smiling because finally  I was so freshly awake at this hour(you can understand if you know how difficult it gets to wake up fresh in early morning )..Moving forward, I made myself a cup of Jaggery Tea with ginger and clove(which I wanted to make for some time now, but I would always put sugar before and then remember it lol) and had it in my balcony :) wow, it was so refreshing not to be rushing while having tea and that too  such a nice tea with such a great view and feel!

Then I did some exercises ,not rushing them, then I did a 5 minutes morning meditation which to my surprise was done while standing, so it did not make me sleepy again , thank god :)

And finally, I recorded the much awaited video which I wanted to do for ages. It was about all the quick routine exercises that will help you start off a better day and I made that for my family members because I know they prioritize exercising as the last in their to do list, sometimes their list doesn't even have it….hahaha but its true!

Well, and now Iam writing , wow it feels awesome to be writing once again and Iam going to publish it hehehe…

So, this was so far what I have been doing this morning but there is something which I did not tell you..

While I was doing all my favorite things, monsters of chores were trying to constantly grab hold of me. I was pulled into making my bed(couldn't resist it,, sorry to myself), I was being pulled into doing dishes, I said no to them strictly. I was pulled into arranging already washed utensils in my utensils almirah- well, I did that partially while preparing tea(sorry I cheated) And I was being pulled into cleaning and mopping  also when I scolded the floor to shut its mouth and let me live for a while.

And Iam so proud I did that…because I utilized best of my energies for the things which really makes me happy and when I will be less on my energy levels, I think I will still be able to pull those always shouting attention seekers chores.

And I realized that it gets so easy getting distracted with the chores and they eat up you energy right in the morning and never let you do your favorite things because by the time they get finished, it does give a sense of satisfaction but you no longer have the right set of energies to be doing your favorite things.. I know they are important but I guess try getting some balance- will not happen every day but somedays it will happen and you will smile to yourself :)

I was also not doing video thinking that I just did exercise and I did not want to overdo it but I told myself them hey, why are you finding stupid reasons, you won't be doing full exercise ..right! And then I jumped it at too.I guess sometimes you need a push, a convincing and I think you can be your own friend at all times…

So, this was new me today, I hope I can share some more newer me soon!

A Visit to Our People

A Visit to Our People

I always liked helping people, even at school, college, my own relatives, and people used to tell me you can become a good psychologist, but I guess that wasn’t my dream. Turns out, the dream is bigger than that.

So, like I said, I liked helping people and in busy corporate life, finding time to help during office hours was pretty challenging and when for several years I could not help anyone with anything, I started feeling a hole in my life. For some time I could not understand what this hole is all about. I was unable to get answers until recently when something changed. Change did not happen in a day, it took some while but Change did happen.

When I was not able to figure out the reason for feeling empty despite having everything I started trying out things. I thought lets try NGOs, but I had no clue how to get into it until one of my friends in office told me about one of his friends who used to work relentlessly day in and day out for the betterment of the schools and the education in our country. I felt great; I thought I had a starting point.

Well I literally had. I visited one of the Urdu medium schools for one of the events “Painting Competition” organized by ABC (Acharyas for Better Community) and funded by Oracle.

It was amazing to see smiles on so many kids’ faces, their passion to outperform even in the worst of conditions, they didn’t seem to care whether fan is there or not, light is there or not, toilets are in usable conditions or not, when they were given the opportunity to perform, they made the day of all of us volunteers.

Post that event, I was happy, content but then this was just a beginning. The organizer asked us if we want to accompany him in encouraging parents from the slums to send their children to school.

We readily accepted but I guess we were not prepared for what was about to come.

During our entire life, we try to avoid going into the slum by closing our minds and eyes, but this time there was no escape. I felt like slums called me out so that I can open up my eyes and see the world from a newer perspective.

Surprisingly, we met amazing parents who despite living with minimum possible amenities managed to send their children to schools. And the children who were going to school spoke better English than we do, had better confidence than we had, they were larger than life and we concluded that someone in the govt. school that those kids used to go was doing awesome work in shaping the talent which God already sends for all the children.

We were amazed to see all this.

We went further down in the slums and we met not so aware/interested parents and we tried to encourage them to send their children to school.

I used to think what benefit will they get by sending kids to govt.schools and generally I used to think govt. schools are good for nothing. But here is why: I got to know that if a govt. school did not have minimum number of student s, that govt. school is shut down forever. Secondly, if children stay back at home, while their parents are out for work, they are expected to baby sit their siblings at an age when they themselves need the baby sitting. Thirdly, they are vulnerable to cruel elements that are always ready to take advantage of such situations.

One more interesting fact: People have to pay “hafta” in settlements like slums if they want to live peacefully. And what are slums, well, a temporary arrangement at some open land which could be filled with garbage and what not and which for now is not being claimed by anyone but any day the owner of that land can get all those settlements demolished.

After seeing/knowing all this I was shocked till the core of my heart, scared, felt hopeless, overwhelmed by so many helpless situations, I felt, even If I volunteer for my entire life, what difference and how big a difference will I be able to make… I gave up…until recently.

After several days of trying to forget what really is out there in the world, I got an update that ABC has now tied up IIT Kharagpur, I got another update that the slums that we visited have started to send more kids to school because of which the school that could have been shut down has started to function on a better pace. And now comes the next challenge. Once we have kids in the school, we are short on staff, short on resources…

In Govt. Schools, the teacher to student ratio is like one is to many, and by many I mean kids from various standards together and that one teacher is also expected to do all the office work. So, obviously that teacher is a human being at the end of the day. All this said, many times the child studying in class 7^th has same standard as class 2^nd but they are in class 7^th because of their age.

It is so much different from the schools that we have attended. Looked like an entire new unseen world of education.

Anyways, recently, I attended one more event; it was a snack distribution in one school and Sports Day in another school. I with few more volunteers just distributed the juice and biscuit packets to the kids, man!, you got to look the faces of the kids when they received items from us. They were beaming, happy and shook hands with us – each one of them- and said Thank You Miss, Thank You Sir… I don’t think I can ever forget that “Thank You” in my entire life.

That sports day event was being conducted in just as much space as one that can accommodate 2 dining tables back to back because that school did not have a ground. But the excitement, the zeal among student was no less than any normal school that we know of, rather sometimes, I felt It was even more…

I wrote Certificates for them as a volunteer, felt like a very small/unimportant job to me initially. But then I had the privilege to see how much value those certificates acquired when they were received in the small happy and excited hands. It made my day.

I am so much opposite of what I was earlier. I am no more scared, I am positive and I want to get involved more and more.  After all, it takes drop by drop to fill a pitcher and someday If it is unable to fill up completely, at least it will not be empty and that alone is all my motivation.  My little contributions can at least save the pitcher from going dry I guess J

Back to Books

Books are probably one of the first tools which contribute in the upbringing of a child. These days, there are books on every topic and lest to say that we have ebooks too to add to the list. But ,not to my surprise,most of the school children never seem to enjoy books while they are at school. And I feel , it is probably not their fault. Books at school are kind of mandatory stuff which automatically becomes boring the moment the word “mandatory” is attached to them. They seem more like a burden than something which I call them-”A big Open Door to Knowledge” I kept telling this to my younger sister many a times whenever she would get pissed off with the idea of going through books/ novels. I have always told her to change her perspective and then look at the Books and that she should feel a difference. It is true , however, that not every book may be the real/desired source of knowledge but every book does contain some knowledge which may or may not interest you. I have seen many defaulter students who would not attend most of the classes but would not mind attending one particular class,also known as “their favorite one” and not only they attend one particular class but also they would be good at that particular subject. I feel that such students are not defaulters, in fact , they are truly honest to themselves and to the people around them. Well, I was definitely not one of them. I am kind of accommodating in the sense that even if the class is boring or useless, I have this knack of identifying some good thing about it so that I can justify my attending that class to myself. In other words, I can not only ignore the fact that the real purpose of the class is getting defeated but also live with that in harmony, unlike defaulters who are just too simple to manipulate the reality in favor of them. My point here is not to show how things can be made favorable to oneself but to bring the reader’s attention to a common observable fact that when a teacher is good, everyone likes to be there at his/her class. In other words, when the “source” of knowledge is good or effective in getting your attention and interest, then even you cannot stop yourself from acquiring the knowledge that the source has to render. In conclusion, Books at school level are just a way to tell youngsters where to look for, if they want to acquire knowledge about some thing. But what books at school fail to teach is how to identify whether the source of knowledge at hand is the most appropriate one and if not, then what to do about it. I have now realized that one must first try to know whether the source of knowledge is meeting one’s requirement of knowledge, and if not, one must continue one’s endeavor to search for the right sources/resources until one finds them. Once the sources are set right, then acquisition of knowledge becomes the most adventurous and most beautiful experience of one’s life...All you need to do is “Just look for what your are really looking for”

The Shiv Samudram Trip- An experience

It is so amazing to just know that nature has the capability to soothe you from within. And it is so much more amazing to actually experience nature and let it treat you from within. It was a very beautiful and soothing journey that "We" together shared and left ourselves carelessly into the hands of nature with an unfailing faith that sooner or later we will be left with nothing else but a serene smile on our faces and awe in our eyes. Such was the beauty of shiv samudram. I have heard that Lord Shiva has the ability to extract all negativity from within you. I guess the name itself does the magic.Shiv Samudram was worth its name. The place was a blend of everything-vast lush green landscapes, unbounded waterfalls,colorful skies amd loving wind. I call it the perfection of God. It felt as if the sparkling Sunshine has decided to fall from the top of the clif in the form of sparkling Diamonds made up of Water. When you are this close to the waterfall, you can't see but you can only feel the magic that moves you from the inside. It was the first time that I was blessed with the love of the waterfall God and I pray to God that i never forget this beautiful experience-the excitement followed by peace :) The adventure of crossing the stream of water with lots of pebbles,big and small, was not only a daring but also a mandatory experience to reach to the other side where waterfalls were much more cooperative. And so , We ended at the base of the waterfall and experienced that force of nature on our shoulders. It was, indeed, an awesome experience! To the fullest did we enjoy, the wind, the water, the sky, the colors,the green lands, the reflecting paddy fields,the vastness, the sun and the sunshine and ofcource company of each other :D And we came back home happy,contend and comforted.:)

Make a choice!

Recently i got a pair of birds as our pet. The decision itself was overwhelming. It wasn't as simple as simply getting one pair of birds. It was more of getting mentally prepared. It was more of asking oneself "Am i prepared to have them , to love them even if i know that i may or may not get the love back from them" It is like diving into the unknown:We beleive that it is going to be a gr8 jouney ahead, but we haven't really measured the pros and cons delibrately because we do not want our beliefs to be run down by the statistics. Statistics says confidently about fishes's love being only to the food,cat's love being only to the place,dog's love being only to the master but birds category seemed to be lying sonewhere among of all these. We chose birds,and not dogs, also so that we could do justice to them. And now we have a pair of cute little birds at our home chirping all the time :) Yes, the decision was tough but it was worth the brainstorming. In reality, the brainstorming was only to make the decision more probable. It seems to be a happy ennding of a story called "Getting a Pet" but in reality it is not an ending. True it is that making birds a part of our family was no less than a big achievement but it was not all. It was the beginning of a new life which now consisted of myself, my hubby, these 2 little birds, our entire family and friends with whom the stories of our life shall now be shared and njoyed with. Yes, the stories of these little birds did become a part and parcel of all our talking.Definitely, they deserved atleast a mention for all time's sake. Now that the journey has begun, I wonder sometimes what a beautiful impact these little creatiures can have on you. They present an opportunity to us to believe whatever we want to about our relationship with them. We can choose to beleive that they love us back when we love them and be happy about it . On the other hand ,we can choose to beleive that they do not love us back when we love them and be sad about it . I guess, the entire life is like that. We , as human beings, have been presented with a choice of being happy or sad about almost anything in the world. Its the choice and our belief that makes our life what it is. Having said that, we may also observe the very obvious fact that if we can choose to believe literrally anything in the world and be happy or sad about it, knowing this very fact, we can also choose to believe that we have the control over our lives. So, lets plan out something beautiful for it believing that it will love us back eventually. In 3 idiots, it has been repeatatively said, "All is well"....I guess they were trying to convey somethin similar to my thoughts!

Philosophy-Truth or Myth

I have often heard people saying that "Philosophy" looks good only in books, that life does not work that way or that it has nothing to do with reality. But I , on the other hand, would choose to disagree. Philosophy is not a Myth or an impagination of a writer. It is rather an experience shared by a writer. Philosophy cannot be imagined and written, it has to be felt and then shared as it is. As per my experience, you cannot feel philosophy until it happens to you. It has happened to me. People gave me feedback that I should write more but for many years, I could not write a single thing and all of a sudden one fine day just like today , it will come from inside as if thoughts are getting produced continuously and automatically waiting to be poured down on a sheet of paper. I beleive that it is a state of mind that enables you to connect to the nature so deeply that you could go Philosophical. So, philosophy is for people who are already in that state of mind, then only it would make sense to them otherwise the convention seems to be true that it looks good only in books! One may ask how to be in that state of mind. Well, as per my experience, you really cannot do it intentionally. It could just happen to you at times when you are very happy, very sad or very peaceful!